Why chinese people good in business?

A Chinese man walks into a bank in New York City and
asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer
that he is going to China on business for two weeks
and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need
some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese man
hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the
street in front of the bank. He produces the title and
everything checks out.

The Loan officer agrees to accept the car as
collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its
officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese for
using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a
$5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into
the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two
weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000
and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, 'Sir, we are very happy to
have had your business, and this transaction has
worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that
you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is why
you would bother to borrow $5, 000.The Chinese
replies:

'Where else in New York City can I park my car for
two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there
safely when I return.'

A Virgin Joke

This virgin girl is on the phone and asks her boyfriend to come
over and have dinner with her parents.

Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her
boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out
and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex
before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get
some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and
the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.

He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms
and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many
condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family
pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he
thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents
house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm
so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table
where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly
offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,
with his head down.10 minutes pass, and still no
movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the
girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend,
"I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had
no idea your father was a pharmacist"

You know you need to lose weight when...

- Someone tells you to wipe your chin and you have to pause and wonder which one.

- Your inner thighs make holes in your jeans.

- You go over a bump in your car and your tummy shakes.

- It takes the underside of your arms two whole minutes to stop jiggling.

- Your stomach enters a room before you do.

- When you dance vigorously, you go one way and your stomach another.

- People go on and on about your childbearing hips.

- You wear maternity pants even though you're not pregnant.

- When someone pokes you, her finger disappears into your many folds.

- You have more creases and folds than a shirt that just came out of the dryer.

- A sofa that comfortably seats two can only fit you.

- You weight twice your partner's weight.

- Your butt should have its own postcode.

- Even your feet start to look fat.

- A plus size store has nothing that will fit you.

- What should be a caftan fits you like a skintight Lycra top.

- Your fingers look like sausages.

- People ask how many months you're gone.

- You lie down on your side and your tummy leans too.

- You choose the marshmallow man when asked which celebrity you look like the most.

- You look at Roseanne Barr and envy her figure.

- You have to purchase two tickets when you fly or take the bus.

- You don't have to pad your stomach when you dress up as Santa Claus.